Total Drama ASDF
by GiLaw
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if Total Drama characters acted out ASDF movies? Well, this is what would have happened!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So some of you might know me for writing "10 Things Total Drama Characters Would Never Say" and might have noticed I used a good few ASDF references. So I decided to actually do Total Drama ASDF! Just for fun!**

**Enjoy! ;D**

**Total Drama ASDF**

Lindsay giggled as Tyler pinched her nose and "held it" in his fingers.

"Got your nose!" he grinned.

Lindsay giggled again.

Next thing, Brick burst through the door holding a gun.

"LOOK OUT, HE'S GOT A NOSE!"

* * *

Mike grabbed Cameron by the shoulders. "You gotta help me man, my tie is evil and it's gonna KILL ME!" he wailed.

Cameron stared at him then backed away slowly.

Mike cringed and looked down at his tie. "Please don't hurt me," he whined.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha . . ."

* * *

Scott was walking down the street when he noticed B a few metres away. A mischievous grin came to his face.

"Hello, Beverly!" he shouted.

"HELLOOOOOOO!"

Scott froze and stared at B who was smirking proudly to himself.

* * *

"Hey Zoey, come here! Smell my flower," Dawn called.

Zoey stepped forward and took a sniff. "Mmmm," she smiled.

Next thing, a dinosaur popped out from Dawn's jumper.

"Whoa!" Zoey laughed and the dinosaur disappeared back into Dawn's jumper.

* * *

**Pointless Button. Warning: Pointless**

Lindsay pressed the button.

Nothing happened.

Lindsay frowned. "Hm."

* * *

"Hey Vito, what-"

_**SMACK!**_

Vito punched Ann-Maria hard in the face.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Ann-Maria yelled angrily.

* * *

"Somebody help me, I'm being robbed!" Bridgette cried.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" Izzy hollered. "TREE POWERS, ACTIVATE!"

_**POP!**_

A random tree appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

"DIE, POTATO!" Duncan shouted.

"NOOOOOOOO-"

_**SPLAT!**_

* * *

A cake was sitting on the table.

Owen pulled out a knife. "Mmm, yum!" he grinned, preparing to cut it.

He stuck the knife into the cake . . .

**"AHHHHH! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! I HAVE A WIFE AND FAMILY!"**

"NOOOOOOO!" Owen cried.

**"ARRRGGGHHH, THE PAIN! IT'S UNBEARABLE!"**

"WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

The cake started hopping towards the edge of the table. **"TELL MY CHILDREN I LOVE THEM!"**

_"DADDY!"_

The cake fell off the table . . .

"NOOOOOOOOO-

_"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"_

_**SPLAT!**_

* * *

**Well I hope you enjoyed that! Tell me if I should do more!**

**See ya! ;D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thanks for the follows, favs and reviews! THEY'RE SO MOTIVATING!**

**Anyway, here's Chapter 2, so enjoy! ;D**

**Total Drama ASDF 2**

"Hey! You know who's gay?" Duncan grinned at Cody. "YOU!"

Then he looked down. Cody had stuck a knife through him.

"OH COME ON!" yelled Duncan.

* * *

"I baked you a pie!" Izzy smiled at Owen.

Owen beamed. "Oh boy, what flavour?"

Izzy lowered her eyebrows. "PIE FLAVOUR!"

* * *

"I like singing!" said Courtney.

"I like dancing!" said Cameron.

"I like trains," said Trent.

Next thing, he got hit by a random train that had appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

"Hey!" Mal grinned. "It says 'Gullible' on the ceiling," he chuckled, pointing up.

Zoey looked up. It was true, it DID say 'Gullible.'

"Oh, so it-" She looked down. "Oh, you stole my lungs."

* * *

"DIE POTATO!" Duncan shouted.

The potato pulled out a gun and grinned. "NOT TODAY!"

Duncan froze.

* * *

Chris laughed a maniac laugh. "THEY SAID I COULD NEVER TEACH A LLAMA TO DRIVE!"

Ahead of him, there was a llama- and it was driving a car towards a cliff.

"NO, LLAMA, NOOOOOO!" Chris cried.

Too late- the screeching llama drove over.

* * *

"Doctor, I think I might be a homosexual," said Noah.

"How can you tell?"

Noah started puking rainbows at him. "RAAAAAIIIIINBOOOOOOOWSS!"

* * *

"WHAT ARE YA, A MAN OR A MOUSE?!" Lightning screamed.

The horse just stood there and stared at him.

* * *

"Hey kids! I brought you some cookies!" Chef Hatchett called.

The room was filled with shrieks of delight as everyone tried to grab a cookie.

"COOKIES!"

"GIMME COOKIES!"

"I WANT COOKIES!"

"I like trains," said Trent.

Everyone stared at him blankly.

And Trent got hit by yet another random train that had appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

**DESMOND THE MOON BEAR!**

The bear looked around him, confused. "How did I get here?"

**THE END!**

* * *

Lindsay was laughing at a book.

"I can't read!" she giggled.

* * *

"KITTEN FIGHT!" Geoff shouted.

"No, wait!" cried Bridgette. "I'm allergic to adorableness!"

Someone threw a kitten at Bridgette's face. Bridgette removed the kitten from her face and stared at it. It was the most adorable thing she had ever seen.

"Aw . . ."

**R.I.P Bridgette**

* * *

"What are you up to, son?"

"I like trains," said Trent.

His dad laughed. "Yes you do . . ."

. . .

. . .

* * *

"Hey! You know who's gay?" Duncan grinned at Cody. "YO-"

Cody and Duncan got hit by ANOTHER random train that had appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

"I can't wait to eat this bagel!" said Owen.

"Yes you can," muttered Noah.

Owen sighed and put down the bagel. "Yeah, I guess you're right."


	3. Chapter 3

**WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUP?**

**Okay, enough talk, let's get this chapter done!**

**Total Drama ASDF 3**

"Hey man, look at my new dog!" shouted Geoff, pointing down.

Harold looked down. "Oh yeah, that's pretty co-" He looked back up. "AWWWWWWW! THERE'S NO DOG THERE!"

"OOOOOOOO-"

"AAAAAAAAAA-"

Geoff and Harold just stood where they were, screaming at each other.

* * *

Brick lowered his eyebrows. "Jo, did you eat my sandwich?"

"I **AM** your sandwich!"

Next thing, Jo stepped into Brick's mouth and started squeezing her way down his throat . . .

* * *

Scott handed B a bomb. "Here hold this," he said, walking out of the room.

B stood there, holding the bomb . . .

.

.

.

Scott walked up to B and took the bomb off him. "Thanks!"

_**BO-**_

* * *

Owen was eating a bowl of salad when Izzy elbowed it out of his hands and started punching it.

Owen screamed. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, STOP IT, CUT IT OUT IZZY, I DON'T WA-"

* * *

Heather and Lindsay were standing next to each other when Heather snorted.

"Screw gravity," she muttered.

And she rose into the air. Lindsay watched her in awe.

* * *

Gwen put a gun to her head. "Goodbye world . . ."

"Okay Gwen, I'll see you around," the world smiled. "Where you go-"

_**BANG!**_

"OH! OH NO, OH THAT'S NOT I THOUGHT SHE MEANT BY THAT AT ALL!"

* * *

Mal gasped. "There's something on your face!" he exclaimed to Vito.

_**SMACK!**_

Mal punched Vito hard in the face.

"IT WAS PAIN!"

* * *

"OH WHAT IS HAPPENING, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I CAN'T EVEN-"

_**"I AM PUNCHING YOUR SALAD!"**_Izzy screeched.

Owen screamed again.

* * *

Cameron and his mom were standing by a cactus.

"Now Cam, don't touch that cactus!" his mom smiled at him.

Next thing, Cameron was pinned to it.

His mom screamed. "YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!"

* * *

Duncan lowered his eyebrows suspiciously. "Courtney, why is Gwen on fire?"

"BUY ME MORE JEWELLRY!"

* * *

There was a urinal attatched to Noah's shirt.

Sam stared at him then pulled down his zip.

"Don't even think about it!" snapped Noah.

* * *

Owen kept on punching Izzy who kept on punching the bowl of salad . . .

* * *

"Hey guys! Check out my new camera!" called Sierra.

_**BANG!**_

Lindsay dropped dead.

"Oh wait, this isn't a camera," said Sierra, staring at her gun.

* * *

"DIE POTATO!" Duncan shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOO-"

"I like trains," said Trent.

Duncan looked up in horror. "Oh no no no no wa-"

Duncan and the potato got hit by a random train that had appeared out of nowhere and Trent smirked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Total Drama ASDF 4**

"I'm gonna do an internet!" said Sierra.

She tapped a key on the keyboard. Next thing, loads of colours came shooting out the computer, sending her flying.

"Well I'm gonna do a book!" said Noah.

He tapped a page.

Nothing.

"Aw . . ."

* * *

**The Science Show**

"PIANO!" Cody shouted.

_**BANG!**_

A random piano fell on top of him.

"WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS?!"

* * *

The phone was ringing. B answered it.

He heard someone load their gun and shout: "THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

_**"DUN DUN DUN DU-"**_

B hung up and walked away as if nothing had ever happened.

* * *

Lightning stepped out of Tyler's body right in front of Lindsay.

"Oh . . ." Lindsay gasped calmly.

* * *

"Hey Geoff, you can't skate here!" Chris yelled.

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Geoff hollered.

_**BOOM!**_

Geoff skated into a mine.

* * *

"I wanna be a pie!" said Cameron.

Next thing, a Cameron pie was baking in the oven.

His mom fell to her knees and screamed. "CAMMY-BEAR, NO!"

* * *

Mal grinned mischievously at Manitoba. "Nice hat."

"Thanks!" smiled Manitoba.

Mal lowered his eyebrows. "I was being sarcastic."

"Well I stole your face!"

Mal slapped where his face was just a second ago.

* * *

"Honey, do you like my new shoes?"

Harold turned over a page of his comic and replied "You are a chair, darling."

**_"I CAN DREAM, HAROLD!"_**

* * *

Stepping out of his time machine and checking to see no one was around, B grinned. "It worked! My time machine wo-"

_**CRUSH!**_

"I AM A STEGOSAURUS!" the dinasaur grinned, stepping on B and his time machine.

* * *

Owen ran up to Izzy. "Quick, shoot me in the face!"

_**BANG!**_

Owen dropped dead as Izzy shot him in the face . . .

* * *

Duncan loaded his gun. "You're getting mugged, kid!"

Mike turned around and smiled. "No- YOU'RE getting mugged."

Duncan dropped his gun and raised his hands. "HOW THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!"

* * *

"Hey Tyler! Catch!" Jo called, throwing the ball.

"I'M GONNA CATCH IT, I'M GONNA CATCH IT, I'M GONNA-"

The ball landed on Tyler, and squashed him flat.

* * *

"Banana fight!" Owen shouted.

_**BANG!**_

"NO!" Izzy screeched, throwing away her gun.

* * *

"Alien attack!" Chris cried, pointing at the UFO.

"THROW THE CHEEEEEEEESE!" Chef Hatchett yelled.

Everyone started grabbing random pieces of cheese and throwing them at the UFO . . .

"YEAH!" someone cheered.


	5. Chapter 5

**Total Drama ASDF 5**

"Hey Geoff!" Manitoba shouted. "Play that one when you're falling down the stairs!"

"Sure thing, Manitoba!"

Geoff jumped down the stairs and started tumbling down them before he crash-landed on the piano keys.

"I LOVE IT!"

* * *

Gwen and Trent were stargazing.

"It's so beautiful out here," smiled Gwen.

"Yeah," Trent agreed. "It's just me . . . you . . . and the moon . . ."

_**"HEY!"**_ the moon yelled. _**"YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!"**_

* * *

"Duncan," Courtney said grimly. "You appear to have a very sevre case of . . ." She lowered her eyebrows. _**"BABY VOICE!"**_

Duncan screamed and waved his arms around, crying in his baby voice.

* * *

"Hello Mine Turtle!" said Cameron.

"Hello!" Mine Turtle smiled.

_**CLICK!**_

Scott looked down after stepping on Mine Turtle's back. "Oh-"

_**BOOM!"**_

* * *

"Hey Sam, you wanna play some video games?" ask Dakota, holding up some consoles.

"No way, Dakota," said Sam, shuddering. "You always BEAT me!"

_**SMACK!"**_

"TELL NO ONE!" Dakota screeched, punching Sam in the face.

* * *

**Warning: Ledge**

Lindsay walked off the ledge and started falling. "Oh, okay . . ." she muttered casually as she fell.

* * *

Chef Hatchett was throwing muffins at Chris.

"OH MAN, ARE YOU EVER GONNA RUN OUT OF MUFFINS?" Chris yelled.

"No!" Chef Hatchett replied. "Because I work at the muffin factory!"

* * *

"I wonder if my pony can fly," said Beth.

Next thing, her pony started flying away.

Beth raised her eyebrows. "Oh!"

* * *

**And Now: Ducks**

Two ducks were standing beside each other.

"QUACK!" the first duck squaked.

"I was just about to say that!" the other duck exclaimed.

"Really?"

"Totally!"

"Oh! That's spooky!"

"We are so in sync!"

* * *

"Mom, look! A turtle!" Cameron grinned, holding Mine Turtle for his mom to see.

"Hello!" Mine Turtle smiled.

Then he jumped out of Cameron's hands and landed on his back.

_**CLICK!**_

_**BOOM!**_

* * *

Duncan walked up to B. "Here, hold this."

He stuck a knife in B's chest and walked away.

And B just stood there . . . with a knife through his chest.

* * *

Eva ran up to Cody. "I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!"

"But it's Opposite Day," said Cody.

"OH NOOOOOOOO!" Eva screamed as Cody punched her in the face.

* * *

"Oh no!" Scott muttered, eyeing Mine Turtle. "I am NOT stepping on you!"

He just stood there, staring at Mine Turtle . . .

**_CRASH!_**

A car appeared from nowhere and crushed Scott and Chris's llama galloped out of the car.

"Hello!" Mine Turtle smiled.

* * *

"Do you ever get tired of being random?" asked Courtney.

Gwen was wearing a duck mask.

"Me neither," Courtney smiled, putting on her duck mask.


	6. Chapter 6

Eva ran up to Noah. "I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOUR FACE!"

Noah froze.

"IN THE FACE!" Eva growled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO-"

"OOOOOOOOOOO-"

Eva punched Noah's face's face.

* * *

"Hello and welcome to Standing Up School," said Chris.

_**SMACK!**_

Ezekiel fell flat on his face.

"And you fail," Chris tutted, pointing at him.

* * *

Izzy was playing a trumpet.

"Hey, you got a license for that?" asked Brick.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Izzy screamed, putting the trumpet to her head.

And the trumpet randomly killed her?

* * *

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?" Cody grinned.

_**SMACK!**_

"THE DOOR!"

* * *

"Hey, did you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?" said Cameron.

Mal stared at him then grabbed two carrots and stuck them in his eyes.

_**"YOU LIED TO ME!"**_

* * *

Harold, Cody, DJ and Tyler were practicing their singing.

"Hellooooo-"

"Helloooooooooo-"

"Hellooooooooooooooo-"

_**CLICK!**_

Tyler looked down.

"Hello!" Mine Turtle smiled.

"OH NO!" the boys sang.

_**BOOM!**_

* * *

"Ohh, a puppy!" Zoey smiled.

"Whoa, careful honey. He has a knife," said Mike, pointing.

The puppy look at his knife then back at the couple. "Whaaaa? N- no I don't!"

* * *

A group of people were standing around.

Geoff skidded into the centre of the group.

_**"EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!"**_

And everybody fell flat on their faces.

* * *

"Hello, Burger!" said Owen.

The burger grinned. "I used to be a cow."

Owen froze.

"Oh . . ."

* * *

_**"He's a magical pony flying through the sky on a magical-"**_

"Shoot it down," said Jo.

Brick picked up a canon and blasted it at the flying pony.

* * *

Lindsay was staring at her watch.

Then she looked up.

"I have no idea how to breathe."

* * *

"What are you drawing, Scott?" asked Dawn.

"I'm drawing a bear!" Scott grinned.

The bear looked down at the marker on his fur then ate Scott in one bite.

* * *

Dakota ran up to Sam. "Quick, don't think about cats!"

Sam stared at her, then loads of cats started pouring out of his mouth . . .

* * *

Chef Hatchett was feeding a baby. "Here comes the aeroplane!"

The baby opened it's mouth . . .

A random plane crashed into the building.

* * *

Lightning was choking on something.

"Is anybody here a doctor?" cried Duncan.

"I AM!" Harold shouted proudly.

"WELL YOU'RE A NERD!" Duncan laughed.

He and Lightning high-fived each other.


	7. Chapter 7

**Total Drama ASDF 7**

"Hey, what did you get for your birthday?" asked Sam.

Mike beamed. "I got OLDER!"

Sam chuckled.

Next thing, Mike started turning into Chester . . .

Sam's eyes widened. "That is weird!"

* * *

"Hey, you wanna play Catch The Knife?" asked Katie.

"Sure!" smiled Sadie.

**_BANG!_**

Sadie dropped dead.

"Man I suck at this game," Katie muttered, lowering her gun.

* * *

"M'am," the policeman said sternly. "I'm afraid I caught your son doing . . ." He lowered his eyebrows at Cameron's mom **"HOMEWORK!"**

"BUT WHERE DID I GO WRONG?" his mom wailed.

* * *

A muffin walked up to DJ. "Hey DJ, you wanna eat me?"

"No thanks, Mr. Muffin," DJ smiled.

"But I wanna die!"

* * *

Alejandro walked up to Heather. "Hey Heather, do you wanna go to the prom with me?"

Heather looked around for an excuse. "Uhh, I'm sorry but I'm a ghost."

Alejandro's face dropped. "But you're not de-"

**_BANG! _**

"Bye Alejandroooooooo-" the ghost Heather droned, floating from her dead body.

* * *

"HEY EVA, YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?" Jo yelled.

"SURE!" Eva screeched.

**Outside . . .**

"WOW, WHAT A LOVELY EVENING!" shouted Jo.

"THIS WAS A REALLY GOOD IDEA!" Eva bellowed.

* * *

Gwen was preparing to jump off a building while Duncan, Courtney and Trent watched on in horror.

"Don't jump! You have so much to live for!" Trent cried.

Geoff skidded into the crowd.

_**"EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!"**_

Everyone flopped onto their faces . . .

_**SPLAT!**_

Gwen crashed onto the ground with the others from doing the flop off the building.

* * *

"Aww, I'm so full," Owen moaned, clutching his belly.

The muffin walked up to him. "Do you have room for a muffin?"

Owen groaned. "No . . ."

"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIE?"

* * *

Sierra ran up to Cody. "Hey Cody, are you an angel?"

She grinned. "Cause I'm allergic to feathers."

Next thing, she started puking all over Cody's face.

* * *

Dawn and B were standing next to each other when Dawn whispered in B's ear:

"I am a very tall midget."

* * *

Cody skipped up to Duncan. "Hey buddy, turn that frown upside down!"

"Okay!" said Duncan.

He grabbed his head and twisted it around.

And then he died in front of Cody.

* * *

**DESMOND THE MOON BEAR!**

The bear's bones were floating around on the moon.

**THE END!**

* * *

There was a strange looking switch in the room.

Scott frowned then pulled the switch.

Next thing, all his clothes disappeared.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-"

* * *

Brick walked up to Lightning. "Hey, you want a bana-"

They looked down at each other and saw that they were both naked.

_**"OH WHAT?! NO!"**_

_**"NO! TURN IT BACK! AHHHHH-"**_

Brick and Lightning screamed and ran away from each other.

_**"WHO WANTS A MUFFIN?"**_


	8. Chapter 8

**WAZZUP?**

**So you're probably wondering why this is updated. The reason: I'M DOING THE DELETED SCENES!**

**Enjoy! ;D**

* * *

Zoey ran up to an intern. "Have you seen Mike?"

"No, I think he went outside," the intern replied.

Zoey nodded and sprinted off. As she ran, Mal pulled off his face mask.

"YOU FOOL!"

* * *

Lindsay walked up to Noah with a letter in her hand and started thrusting it at him like he was a letterbox.

"N- NOOOO!" Noah cried. "Stop it!" he yelled as Lindsay kept thrusting it at him "AAAHHHHHH-"

* * *

"I am depressed," said Gwen.

**SUDDENLY: PINEAPPLES!**

Gwen was suddenly surrounded by a bunch of pineapples.

"This does not help," she muttered.

* * *

"HEY BUDDY, LOOK OVER HERE!"

Harold looked up. Next thing everything went black.

"HA-HA, NOW YOU'RE BLIND!" the sun laughed.

* * *

"What's going on, guys?" asked Eva.

Jo lowered her eyebrows. "Eva, this is an intervention. You NEED to stop breaking people's necks!"

_**CRACK!**_

"What are you talking about?" said Eva as she broke Brick's neck.

"Eva!" snapped Jo.

"What?"

She was now holding Jo's head in her hands.

Jo screamed. "EVAAAAAAAAA-"

_**CRACK!**_

* * *

"Hey, cool hat!" Cody grinned, taking it off of Geoff and putting it on.

Next thing, the hat swallowed him or something?

* * *

"NO, SERIOUSLY, DON'T WALK ON THE ROAD!" Cameron's mom cried.

Cameron stepped onto the other side. "Look Mom, I made it!"

_**CRUSH!**_

"I AM A STEGOSAURUS!" the dinasaur grinned, stepping on Cameron.

* * *

Dawn was playing a musical box while the police examined the dead bodies around her . . .

* * *

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Tyler hollered.

Lindsay screamed and gave one last push.

**_POP!_**

"IT'S A BOY!"

* * *

**INVISIBLE BEVERLY ADVENTURES!**

"Hey Beverly, catch the Frisbee!" Scott called, throwing it.

_**SLICE!**_

The Frisbee continued to fly through the air but was now covered in blood.

Silence . . .

_**THUD!**_

Scott froze. "B- Beverly . . .?"

* * *

"Dakota," the doctor said glumly. "I'm afraid you have brain cancer!"

**SUDDENLY: PINEAPPLES!**

"Well the good news is you don't have brain cancer anymore," the doctor muttered, staring at Dakota's new pineapple for a head.

The pineapple fell off her body . . .

* * *

"SAVE ME VITO!" Anne Maria cried, hanging from Mount Looming Tragedy.

Vito lowered his eyebrows. "No."

Anne Maria lost her grip and screamed as she fell. "YOU'RE A DIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

**_CRASH!_**

* * *

"Hey Apple! Apple! Apple! Hey Apple!"

Owen continued to blabble to the apple and the orange on while his parents watched him, unamused.

"Well we failed," his dad sighed, loading his gun. "No luck, honey," he added, preparing to shoot Owen.

* * *

"Hello Mine Turtle!" said Cameron.

"Hello!" Mine Turtle smiled.

**SUDDENLY: PINEAPPLES!**

Cameron and Mine Turtle were surrounded by a bunch of pineapples.

A pineapple landed on Mine Turtle's back.

_**CLICK!**_

**_BOOM!_**

* * *

**"He's a magical pony flying through the sk-"**

_**BOOM!**_

A pineapple exploded into the pony.

It's head landed over Chris's head.

"I LOVE IT!" he shouted happily, giving the thumbs up."

* * *

"Hey! You know who's gay?" Noah grinned at Cody.

Next thing, they were standing at a wedding ceremony, getting married.

"US!"

* * *

**Well I hope you enjoyed that!**

**I'm not gonna put this under "Complete" because I'm not sure whether TomSka will make more of these or not. But if he does, I'll be sure to update!**

**See ya! ;D**


End file.
